finding a healthy level of homeostasis is part of the journey of self knowledge

I wonder how often people feel like they are on an optimum level of homoeostasis? I feel like I am unbalanced 85% of the time. I feel like I often can't respond adequately to what people are staying because my I am not absorbing what they are saying properly because I might be mentally blocked or tired. Or else, if I am supposed to do a task, like writing an article, my concentration is really limited and I end up doing really gross things like checking my email 15 times in 5 minutes. Or else, I will experience some random health issue (like I've had stomach cramps for the last few days and thus haven't eaten much and so was vaguing out all day) Maybe part of the solution is increasing iron intake. I could just eat a can of dog food since that would have high levels of offal and offal has lots of iron in it.

Today, I drove out of town with some people who are organising the festival that's happening this weekend. This was an episode of total reticence on my part, which I have to admit is becoming repetitive and tiresome. I am wondering whether the grounding and stilling of internal energies every morning is making me too stony. Maybe I am misunderstanding the practise of energy grounding. I am going to swing my arms around 100 times in the outdoor shower tomorrow morning to see if I can be more animated around others during the day.

I have to share with you all, my love of the bucket shower and thank Phoebe for this grand idea. I have now perfected the outdoor bucket shower scenario. It's getting cold in this town so cold water bucket showers are no longer viable. I have no hot water in the bus paradise, so I've been boiling a big pot of water and throwing a few sprigs of rosemary in and using this with some sandalwood soap to bucket shower outside and fuck man, yeah, that's actually a guaranteed way of returning toward healthy homeostasis

This is partly how I have been entertaining myself, by observing invertebrates. My arachnid visitors have slowed down a bit with this onset of 'cool' weather (like, 30 degrees or less). This one suddenly appeared on the bus window, right in front of where I was sitting and would not move even when I tapped the glass firmly. I watched the way it put its little feelers into its little red maw to clean them. I thought its self maintainance routine was truly grotesque.

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And I made these (they are hand-stitched) and they are not for sale because I look at them everyday and they remind me of dementedness and I think that is very important. They are pinned to my handmade curtains.

I went to hang out with the choral choir in a church today. I want to hang out with more old people because they are way cooler than young people. Like, they have manners and morals and all that sort of good shit. I want to find a new scene, that's all.

(I discovered this expanse at the end of street I live on yesterday afternoon)

*I've been making yoghurt every couple of days. This process is a good one to be in. Making yoghurt regularly is one way of establishing a routine and routine is important for autistic people. I think I am a little bit autistic. I decided that it's time to extend my fermentation repertoire. So tonight, there is a bowl of oats blended with yoghurt, a pinch of salt and rainwater under my bed. The bowl is wrapped up in wool. The oats will ferment as I dream and we will see what becomes of us in the morning. www.wildfermentation.com is where I found a recipe for oatcakes made with fermented oats. I will let you all know what the result of my experimentation yields.

* So, I've been cooking heaps and pottering around my space really liking m
y own company. It's been a while since I have had my own space and as this one is particularly special, who could blame me for my inclination toward hermititude (especially given my autistic leanings).

* I combined almond meal, chopped dates, tahini, sunflower, seseme and pumpkin seeds, orange juice, orange zest and honey and rolled the resullting mixture into little balls. They are delicious and energy and nutrient filled, I am sure.

* I bought an old bike today. Its wheels are flat and its handlebars swing about but I hope to fix it before that Stu face comes around. This white racer reminds me of my trusty, old Matsushita bicycle from which I learnt a few things about bicycle anatomy, since she often had illnesses. Getting this white racer on the road will be a good project to improve my motor and cognitive skills. It's somewhat helpful for me to treat myself like if I am my own patient. The bus provides a good place for rehabilitation

Some images are happening now

A drive by photo













I am at 'Stanley Chasm'













This tree lives at the end of my street
















the inside of the bus

some things about today

* I found many exciting items at the op-shop today including an old chequered blanket, many pairs of underwear and daggy shorts.

* I've been eating really well since I arrived here. Living in a small town means I am close to home all the time so I never need to get eat-out, not that I am compelled to eat out here anyway. The range of eateries here is pretty uninspiring (though the Tea Shrine definitely makes Alice Springs a lot more liveable) and somehow, the whole structure of my life here thus far, really does not promote a need for eating out and take away food somehow. Somehow life is cleaner and simpler.

* My living space is really fuck ace. How right it feels to walk down the bus steps and into my outdoor living area every morning. I can also pretty much see the sunrise through one of the bus windows as I lie in bed. One day I will get pictures onto this blog thing. (Bec, the memory card reader turned out to be a fuck around. My computer refused to read it and so I took it back to Jaycar and had to be very assertive about getting a refund).

* The woman who served me at the Post Office showed me about 10 different kinds of stamps even though there was a really long line. I was very impressed by her. She responded very fully to my question 'what kinds of stamps do you have available at the moment?' If you are lucky, you will receive evidence of my stamp choice and purchase in your letterbox soon.

* I began the day by starting off some yoghurt cultures and by the end of the day, they were finished and now there are two jars of yoghurt. Breeding bacteria is really fun and I think I am heaps better at breeding bacteria than I am at breeding plants.

* I thought about Stu's beard this evening as I was watching The Bill. The show was entertaining although I think too much happened in it--a hit and run, attempted suicide, a drug bust, car theft. I never get to bed before midnight...